Through My Eyes Into Theirs
by SKBeliever
Summary: [Previously a OneShot] POV fic. A MerMark future fic... Mark runs away to spare his family from the pain... A look through their son's eyes... R&R, please. Thanks!
1. Chapter 1

**Through My Eyes Into Theirs**

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**My third GA fic (taking a break from my other fics for a few days). Yay me. Thanks for my friend, nixiebu, for beta-ing this one :D  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone. **

**Enjoy!**

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**_Ethan Lucas Rafferty Grey-Sloan__--------_**

I remember the day I asked my Mom why my name was so long. She said Dad wanted it to be like that. I rolled my eyes at her. I never understood why she even let him name me. I was born the 1st day of May, Mom said it rained so hard that day she thought she was gonna have to give birth in the living room. But Dad drove through the rain from the hospital just to bring Mom to the hospital. I came out red and crying, as Dad described, he also said he got too caught up in the moment and asked Mom to marry him. Mom, high from the epidural, said yes. Neither of them had the decency to right a wrong so they got married a few months later in a private ceremony.

And now...

Now I'm 12 years old. 12 years old and waiting for a flight I'm about to go into to see my Dad in New York. They separated 2 months ago and Dad moved back to New York. I was surprised they even lasted 12 years of marriage. I always thought they tried to hold it together for me... But Mom told me that she did learn to love Dad. But Dad... I don't think he ever knew what love was. But we were happy, nonetheless, until that day Dad told Mom he was leaving. He never told her why. He just left...

The flight attendant tapped me in the shoulder and I took of the earphones and looked at her. She said I could board the plane now. I nod and pick up my bag to follow her. It's not the first time I've travelled alone. I hand the flight attendant my ticket and she lets me through. As usual, Dad buys me a first class ticket. He says I deserve nothing but the best. I take my seat and close the window, not having the energy to look outside like most excited 12 year olds would.

The plane lands in New York a few hours later. I searched the crowd for my Dad's face but I knew he'd be late as usual. I sit down on one of the benches. It was half an hour later when he showed. He didn't look like his usual self. He looked tired and pale.

"Dad," I finally ask him on our way back to his house. "Are you alright?"

He forced out a smile as he looked at me for a second. "Yeah, I'm alright, buddy. I think not having your Mom to take care of me's starting to rub in."

I start to wonder what he meant by that. Mom did take care of us but I never realized that Dad would ever admit that he needed Mom around.

"By the way," he smiled sadly this time. "I'm coming with you back to Seattle on Sunday."

"Does Mom know about this?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "No. She doesn't know."

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"MOM!" I run up the stairs to look for her. I found her inside her room, on the bed. I kiss her on the cheek.

"What are you doing back? I was supposed to pick you up tonight."

"Dad's here."

"What?"

Dad appears in the doorway and gives a small wave. "Hi."

"Mark. What are you doing here?" Mom gets off of the bed and stands up.

"Mer, can I talk with you for a second?"

I watch as Mom leaves the room to follow Dad and then I go to my room to unpack.

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It was probably half an hour later before I finally went downstairs to look for my parents. I stopped in my tracks as I entered the kitchen. I stood there quietly as I watched my Dad crying and my Mom comforting him.

"Mom? Dad?"

Mom let go of Dad and wiped away her own tears before turning to me. "Sweetie."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Dad turned his face away from me, hiding his tears.

I looked at my Mom. "Mom?"

"I-it's..."

Dad looked at her and shook his head. "No, Mer, don't tell him."

"He'll find out eventually, Mark."

Dad looked at me for a second and shook his head still. "Now's not the time, Mer. Luke, go back to your room."

"But-"

"Luke, just go, please."

"Fine," I sigh and head back up the stairs, trying to think about what could be the problem.

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**_Meredith Grey-Sloan--------_**

It wasn't long before I start crying again. Mark took my hands into his and made me look at him.

"Mer, stop crying."

I look at him and see tears also falling down his cheeks. "You should be the one to stop, Mark. It's bad for y-you..."

He nodded and wiped away his tears.

"W-when's your operation?"

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**_Mark Sloan__--------_**

I shouldn't have told her. I, in fact, left her 2 months ago to leave her out of this mess I was about to go in.

"The end of the week, I'm going back tomorrow."

"Burke's coming with you to operate?"

"They told me he was the best."

She looked at me for a few seconds before she started crying once again.

"Mer..."

"I'll file a leave," she stood up.

"Mer, no," I reach out and make her sit down again. "You're not coming with me on this."

"What?"

I saw the hurt and the anger in her eyes and it made me regret telling her once again.

"I do not want to put you through this, Mer. That's why I left in the first place."

"That's why you left me?" she cried. "You left me because you found out you had a heart condition and you didn't want me to be a part of it?"

"I didn't want you to waste your life taking care of me if the time comes," I told her.

"I already spent 12 years of my life with you, Mark. What makes you think I want to spend it doing something else?"

"I-if they don't find me a donor," I took a deep breathe. "Then the LVAD would only buy me a few months, Mer. A few months..."

"Let me be with you those few months, Mark. And then let me be there for the rest of your life, cos' they're gonna find you a donor, I just know it."

"Can't you understand, Mer? I left you cos' I didn't want you to get hurt if something happens to me..."

She shook my hand off of hers and looked at me angrilly.

"You think I care if I would get hurt? I love you, Mark, you know that! I'm your wife! I want to be there for you... I NEED to be there for you..."

I look at her sadly and I knew I owed her the truth and I knew that I owed her this.

"I-I didn't want you to know at first, Mer. I couldn't bear to know the thought that there could be a chance I could die and leave you. I wanted to spare you the pain, Mer. Cos... God," I looked at her, really looked at her. "I love you, Mer. I know it's a little late to be saying this... But I love you..."

She looked at me and then she gave me a small smile as she reached for my hand and held it in hers. She squeezed my hand, let it go, and held my face between her hands. She placed a chaste kiss on my lips and I knew right then and there that no matter what happens, we were going to be alright.

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**So, I'm addicted to Mer/Mark. So what? Ha.**

**What do you guys think :D **


	2. Chapter 2

**Through My Eyes Into Theirs**

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**This was originally a oneshot but I wanted to explore _Ethan_'s thoughts and feelings. I edited the first chapter and took out the last part... Originally, Mark's gonna get the heart one month after getting his LVAD... But as of the moment I'm not sure if I'd like to have it like that... Hey, maybe I'd even kill him off! -evil laugh-**

**But seriously... I just wanted to write something aside from my other two fics... I'm kinda in a rut... So here goes... Enjoy!  
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**_Ethan Lucas Rafferty Grey-Sloan__--------_**

Have you ever wondered why life is so cruel? And why life gives you hope and then lets you down all over again? I'm 12 and I think my dad's going to die.

"Luke?"

My Mom enters the bedroom and waits for me to look at her.

"Yeah?" I finally tear my eyes from my computer and trail my eyes over to where she was standing. She was wearing the Darthmouth t-shirt that Dad and I got for her last Christmas. Dad said her old Darthmouth t-shirt was already collecting mold.

"You want to go downstairs?"

"No," I shake my head and look at her sadly. I needed to make sure she knew I really didn't want to.

"Your Dad and I are watching ER."

"I have homework," I lied.

"Homework over ER?" she smiled.

She didn't get it yet. She didn't know how I truly felt.

"I need to finish this first, then maybe I'll go down."

"Okay," she accepts my reply and left the room.

Ever since we got back from New York and Dad started to wear the LVAD... I avoided him... A project... Skateboard practice... Homework... A test... I didn't want him to see the fear in my eyes, the thought that always crosses my mind... My fear of his death...

I'm supposed to be brave. I'm a 12 year old boy. I'm a Grey _AND_ I'm a Sloan.

I pick up my skateboard and head downstairs.

"Luke!"

I grimaced, I was hoping they wouldn't notice me sneaking out. I stopped in my tracks and headed inside the living room, gripping my skateboard, as my eyes traveled down to my Dad's LVAD. Though I have long wavy blond hair that covers my eyes, I quickly averted my gaze towards Mom.

"You headin' out?" my Dad asks.

"Yeah," I nod, showing them my skateboard. "Just outside."

"It's dark, can you see back there?" Mom, ever the worrier, asks.

"I'm turning on the lights," I told her and I quickly make my escape.

I turn on all our backyard lights and put my helmet on as I headed for the half-pipe my Dad had built for me when I started to take an interest in skateboarding. I started to clear all my thoughts and started to skate.

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_**Meredith Grey-Sloan****--------**_

"He's been avoiding me," Mark looks at me.

"He's been busy."

"Mer, he's twelve! What would he be busy about? He's avoiding me."

I knew it was the truth but I didn't want to hurt his feelings and tell him it was true.

"I'm dying, Mer, and my son won't even look at me."

"If you start believing that again, then I'm going to start avoiding you to," I glare at him.

"Sorry," his face fell and he quickly took my hand in his.

"Maybe you could take him out tomorrow, after school," I suggested.

"Would he even allow me to?"

"Just ask him."

"My own son hates me," he sighs sadly.

"He doesn't hate you!" I was starting to get irritated by him. I squeeze his hand and I looked at him sternly and I knew he believed me somehow... Somehow...

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_**Mark Sloan****--------**_

It was almost 11 that night when I passed by his room. I knew he was still awake, the light emitting from the bottom of his bedroom door. I knock on it for a few seconds before I finally hear a response from him.

"You still awake?" I open the door.

"Umm, yeah," he nods, not looking at me.

"It's 11, go to sleep. Still doing your homework?"

"Yeah. In a minute," he nods, his eyes still trained on his computer screen.

"Luke?"

"Yeah, Dad?"

"I'm heading in for a check-up around 3 tomorrow. What time do you get off from school?"

"Two."

"Would you like to go with me to my check-up?"

He looked at me with evident fear in his eyes, I knew he was about to think of an excuse.

"It's just an hour or so. Then I was thinking we could head to the mall afterwards."

"Does Mom know?"

"I'm not an invalid, Luke. Your Mom's just too protective. So?"

I hold my breathe for a few seconds.

"I'll wait for you in front of the school grounds," he finally responds.

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow. And go to bed," I closed his door and headed to the bedroom.

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**_Ethan Lucas Rafferty Grey-Sloan__--------_**

"Luke, what are you doing here? It's been a while since I last saw you inside Seattle Grace."

"Hey, Uncle Derek," I greeted my Dad's friend, erm, ex-friend. "Dad's here for his check-up, I went with him."

"Is your Mom in there with him?"

"No," I shake my head. "Uncle Derek, can I ask you something?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded.

I take a deep breathe.

"What are the chances of my Dad getting a heart?"

"Well...," I could see the surpise in his eyes. And then I saw his demeanor change and I knew he was about to let me hear what I want to hear. "It depends really."

"But he's gonna get a heart, right?"

"I'm sure he would, you've got nothing to worry about."

"What if he doesn't..."

"He's on top of the list, Luke, you've got nothing to worry about."

Uncle Derek never was a good liar. You could always see right through him that he was lying. And right now... He was.

"Luke!" My Dad calls out as he approaches me and Uncle Derek.

"How's the LVAD?" Uncle Derek asks him. I knew he was just trying to make small talk with him.

"Pumping," Dad simply said. He and Uncle Derek never got along. Apparently, Uncle Derek was in love with my Mom before and my Dad was in love with Aunt Addison, Uncle Derek's ex-wife. Aunt Addison moved back to New York when my Dad followed her here to Seattle. Uncle Derek thought my Dad was gonna go back to New York but to his disappointment, he didn't. Then a drunken night led to the mistake that was me. Uncle Derek left Seattle for a few weeks when he found out my Mom was pregnant but he came back anyway. They all co-existed in the hospital ever since. But you could still sense the tension everytime the three of them were in the same room. Uncle Alex told me that Uncle Derek still pursued my Mom even after her marriage with Dad, he knew that my Mom didn't love my Dad and vice versa. But I guess he gave up in time, cos' right now he's dating a urologist from Mercy West.

"I was just talking with Luke here."

Dad gave him a curt nod and then looked at me. "C'mon, Luke, let's go say hi to your Mom before we head to the mall."

"Okay," I give Uncle Derek a brief wave and followed my Dad.

"Hi, Mom," I greeted my Mom as I see her. She was sitting on one of the stools in the nurses counter. Dad and I walk over to her.

"Mer, Luke and I are heading to the mall, you need something?"

"The mall?"

I could already sense Mom's disapproval.

"Just for a few hours, we'll be alright."

"How'd your check-up go?" Mom changed the topic.

"The same," Dad shrugged.

The same meant he had to find a donor fast before he dies. I look at him with fear once again. Then I knew I had to avert my thoughts.

"Mom, we'll be alright. I'll take care of him," I say.

"You sure?" she asks.

"I'll call you if anything happens," I assure her. I gave her a small smile and reached out to hug her. "Love you, Mom."

Dad leaned over and gave her a chaste kiss. "We'll see you later at home."

"You boys take care, okay?"

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_**Meredith Grey-Sloan****--------**_

"I'm home!"

It was extremely quiet and it made me wonder what Mark and Luke were up to. I knew they were home because of Mark's SUV parked outside.

"Where are you guys?"

I check the living room and the kitchen and then I notice the lights on in the backyard. I walk out to there and find Mark sitting on one of the chairs, watching Luke as he rode his skateboard on the half-pipe.

"I thought you guys went missing," I speak after a few seconds. I suddenly regretted it as I watch Luke turn around in mid-flight and fall down with a loud thud and a loud groan. I quickly run towards him.

"Luke, are you alright?"

"Luke," Mark was beside me in a second.

"D-dad," Luke sat up slowly. "Are you alright?"

"Wh-" I wondered why he was asking Mark and then I suddenly realized that Mark wasn't supposed to be running around. I turn to him and I knew he was covering up the pain with a smile. "Mark!"

"Are you alright, sport?" he disregards my warning and focuses on Luke.

"I-I think I hurt my hand," Luke raises his hand that broke his fall.

"Let me see," Mark inspected the hand for a second. The moment his hand went in contact with Luke's hand, Luke hissed in pain. "I think it's broken."

"No," Luke shook his head furiously. "It's okay. I'm okay! Dad! You should take it easy!"

"We need to get you to the hospital and have that hand looked at," Mark told him. "Can you walk?"

"C'mon," I reach over and help Luke stand up. He was a bit wobbly at first, I knew he was trying to push back the tears that were threatening to come out because of the pain. I look back at Mark who was still to stand up. "Mark? Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah," he finally stood up and nodded. He too was trying to push back the pain. "Let's go. I'll drive."

"Mom will drive!" Luke speaks in a loud voice.

"I'll drive," I reassure him. "I'll drive, sweetie."

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**_Ethan Lucas Rafferty Grey-Sloan__--------_**

"I told you not to have that half-pipe built!"

"It's been there since he was five, Mer!" Dad argued.

"Damnit, Mark," I could hear the frustration in her voice. "I-I can't do this right now! I-I can't take care of you and him at the same time without me going over the brink!"

"Mer, please."

I close my eyes shut, wishing that I could also close my ears and not hear my Mom and Dad's conversation.

"J-just let me handle this, Mark. Don't worry about me," Mom's voice quivered but I could hear the determination in her voice.

"This was why I didn't want you involved in this, Mer. I should have stayed in New York!"

"Could you stop saying th-"

"What color do you want?" Aunt Callie asks me, breaking into my reverie. I open my eyes and look at her unsurely.

"Color?"

"Unless you want to sport a white cast around..."

"Blue, make it blue," I carelessly say, looking at the door where my parents were standing.

"You want me to tell them we could actually hear them?" Aunt Callie asked as she wrapped the blue bandage over my white cast.

"No," I shake my head. "It's alright. I think they're just about done..."

"So what happened, anyway?"

"Skateboarding. Mom suprised me halfway through a jump."

"Must have hurt... But I don't see tears."

"I'm a big boy now, Aunt Callie. I don't cry anymore."

"It's alright to cry once in a while, you know."

I keep my eyes fixated towards my parents. My Mom was crying and my Dad held her. I shake my head slowly. "No, no. It's never okay to cry. Crying means something bad just happened and I never want anything bad to happen..."

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**... ... ... Would you kill me if I killed him...?**

**Oh, and please check out my newest fic - The Heart of Sloan... pretty please? I'm just going to ask once... ha-ha. **


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